《[HP]格林德沃与邓布利多通信集》我才不爱吃泡面

11、Gellert Grindelwald

　　July 11th, 1956

　　1956年7月11日

　　Mister Supreme Mugwump Sir, and of course I heard about that particular commendation—

　　您好至高无上的尊敬的伟大的长官先生，我当然已听说了这项特别的荣誉——

　　The rest of our lives, you say? Forever, you say? Are we wedded by owl, then? Am I bound to your sanctimonious pronouncements as permanently as the lichen on my walls? The orange spot is becoming particularly magnificent. There is green like scales, green like little leaves. They grow unimaginably slowly. My whole life has become glacial. It's been more than ten years, hasn't it? More than ten years in one single little room. I thought I'd go mad. Maybe I have.

　　你是说，我们的余生？你是说，永远？那么，我们在猫头鹰的翅膀上结婚了是吗？我已经被你那假惺惺的宣言永久地束缚了，就像附着在我那墙壁上那些顽固的苔藓是吗？那些橙色的苔藓变得越来越壮观，绿色的则细碎如鳞片，又如绿叶斑驳。它们的生长难以置信的缓慢，而我的整个生命都已冰封。已经过去十年了，不是吗？十多年来都待在同一个小房间里。我觉得我会疯掉的。也许我已经疯了。

　　Headmaster. Bollocks. Schweinhund. Look at you. Look at you, the great Albus Dumbledore, International Mugwump of the Grand Posh Scheisse-Swarm, hunching over your New Year's ale because you fucked a German boy decades ago and can never love again or some nonsense—and you still blame me for her death, don't you, Albus? It was an accident, you drunken idiot, an accident, it wasn't me, I swear, I only fled in fear—

　　校长……去他妈的……你这杂种。看看你自己，看看你自己吧，伟大的阿不思·邓布利多，国际著名的高级魔法联合会会长，在除夕之夜彻夜闷头饮酒，就因为几十年前被一个德国小子/操/了，说着此后再也没法爱上其他人等等之类的废话——而你还在为她的死怪我，是不是，阿不思？那是一场意外，你这个酗酒的傻瓜，那是一场意外，不是我，我发誓，我只是因为害怕才走的——

　　And look at me. Gellert Grindelwald. There was a time when every child in Wizarding Europe cheered for my name or shrunk from it. There was a time when I cast curses that stripped the leaves from every tree for thirty feet with the mere wind of their passing—there was a time when I was on the verge of establishing, truly establishing, a new world order, a bright new future, and I would have done it for you and me—and here I am, rotting, lonely enough to care what some poncy old British git thinks of me. You must have enjoyed the thought, yes, that I might be haunted by the screams of my victims? Does that fit your idea of how things work, that I lie awake at night tossing and turning from the ghosts of my past? And do you, Albus? Little Ariana held you back from hunting me down for years, didn't she?

　　再来看看我——盖勒特·格林德沃。曾经，每个欧洲的巫师家庭的孩子都会为我的名字而欢呼或者发抖。我的一个咒语丢在风中就可将树叶从所有30英尺多高的树上剥离——那时，我几乎就要建立，真正地建立一个新的世界秩序，一个光明的未来，而我做的这些是为了你和我——现在呢，我在这里慢慢地腐烂，孤独寂寞到会去在意一个娘娘腔的英国老饭桶是怎么想我的。你一定为这种念头得意吧，是啊，我说不定会被那些麻瓜们的尖叫纠缠不休呢。这在你看来是不是理所当然的，我整晚都辗转反侧无法入眠，就是因为被过去的幽灵缠绕着，不是吗？而你呢，阿不思？小阿利安娜也把你阻止我的念头拖了许多年，不是吗？

　　News. NEWS, Dumbledore? News from this oubliette you left me in? Four years without a letter—the charms on my watch are holding perfectly well, thank you, I know how long it's been—and then only to brag that you're Headmaster? [a dark, indecipherable blotch of ink]

　　近况，我的近况，邓布利多？在你把我丢入这个密牢之后的近况？四年没有一封信——我手表上的魔法还未失效，谢谢你，我知道已经过去了多久——之后，你就仅仅是想吹嘘你当了校长？【一大团无法辨认的黑色墨渍】

　　It's sweet, really, your bewilderment. You can't understand how I could possibly be angry at you, can you? Because you mean well, because you approach me in friendship, I couldn't really be upset, now could I? Just sulking again, right?

　　真可爱，真的，你困惑的样子真可爱。你不明白我为什么这么生气，是吗？因为你是带着善意的，因为你是作为朋友而接近我的，我不可能真的生气的，不是吗？你觉得我现在只是又生闷气了，对吗？

　　Gertrude is a crazy bitch. What lesson are you trying to teach me? What game of yours am I playing in now? We already finished one, the one where you spend every day with me, give me your body and your mind, and then blame me for an accident and betray me and leave me to do our work alone? And then the next, where you set me upon my path, share my plans, hunt the Hallows with me, give me the very words by which I forged my philosophy, and then, at your leisure, when you've watched enough, wander over from England in the name of truth and justice and bat me out of the sky?

　　格特鲁德是个发疯的婊子。你又在试图给我灌输什么？现在你又在拿我和你玩什么愚蠢的游戏？我们不是已经结束了那个游戏了吗，那个我们整天黏在一起，将你的身心全部交付于我，然后又因为一场意外责怪我，背叛我，抛下我独自一人去完成我们的事业的游戏？然后接下来是什么？你跟随我的脚步，按照我的计划，同我一起去寻找圣器，许下 “为了更伟大的利益” 那句对我的信仰举足轻重的话，然后，等你无聊了，看腻了，在名为真理和正义的英格兰土地上漫步够了，就一巴掌把我从天空上拍下来？

　　You forged me, Dumbledore. You forged me and formed me and let me loose in the world. And I think your little brother would agree that you have a habit of ignoring uncomfortable truths.

　　你成就了我，邓布利多。你成就了我，塑造了我，然后，放任我在这世上。我想你那个弟弟会同意我的观点的，你习惯于忽视掉令人难堪的真相。

　　But enough about you. Let's talk about me, your haunted and broken pet Dark Lord, your misbegotten experiment, who used to spin sweet spells round your body and smile as you begged him to bugger you? And who, I wonder, knows that? Is that one of those things you must ever hide? Poor Albus.

　　谈你谈得够多的了，现在谈谈我吧，你那饱受惊吓，心碎一地的宠物，黑魔王，你非法的实验品，他总是用甜蜜的咒语织就让你深陷其中的网，在你求他/干/你的时候向你露出微笑？还有谁呢，告诉我，还有谁知道这些？这就是你不得不隐藏的事情吗？可怜的阿不思。

　　Yes, we go around in circles. Here I am back to mocking you until I can barely breathe for anger.

　　是的，我们就是在兜圈子。现在我又反过来嘲笑你了，直到我的怒火让我感到无法呼吸。

　　I have a new pen pal, Professor Dumbledore, aren't you proud? Never think that you're the only one I write to—god knows if you were, I would've bashed my head out on the wall years ago. And it's lovely, sometimes, to talk to somebody who doesn't disapprove of everything one is, a fellow Dark wizard, ambitious with abandon. British boy, very clever, a little stiff, silly made-up name—owled me out of the blue a few years ago looking to talk shop, as you'd say. Great mind, but no sense of humor. He seemed rather startled when I mentioned that I knew you.

　　我有了一个新笔友，邓布利多教授，你感到开心嘛？永远都别以为我只给你一个人写信——梅林啊，如果真的是那样，我几年前就该撞墙了。这感觉挺不错的，有时可以和一个不会像某个处处和你反着来的家伙聊聊，比如一个同样野心勃勃的黑巫师。一个英国男孩，非常聪明，有点固执，用着一个愚蠢的假名——他在几年前出乎意料的给我写信，想聊点我的老本行，就像你经常说的那种老本行。他脑子挺聪明，但没有一点幽默感。当我向他提到我认识
　　你的时候，他好像还吓了一大跳。

　　I told him that you were a user and a hypocrite, and to stay well away from you. Of course, he was already frightened of you. You might want to keep an eye out for him though. He could be a dangerous lad. And how could you possibly handle a Dark Lord who isn't your lapdog?

　　我告诉他，你是一个常常利用别人的伪君子，最好离你远一点。当然，他早就被你吓坏了。不过，你可能要留意一下他。他可是一个危险的小子。你怎么可能掌控得了一个黑魔王呢，他可不是你的小跟班。

　　Be well uncertain of your decency, Albus Dumbledore. And Gertrude is a crazy bitch.

　　享受你那无法安宁的良心吧，阿不思·邓布利多。又，格特鲁德真的是个发疯的婊子。