《疑心病》一叶知境

17、第 17 章

　　攻视角

　　我有一个邻居，长的很好看，我们一起长大。

　　他叫凌瑞。

　　我喜欢他，他知道我恐同，可是我好喜欢他啊。

　　他很温柔，我是一个急性子的人。而他却能很认真的听我讲话。

　　看着我他的眼睛好美。

　　我成功的成为了他的暗恋者。

　　我出国了。

　　我好想他，每天都是，我想的他睡不着。

　　一年后。

　　我回国了，我没有让他们来接我。

　　我走到小区看到了他，我想去抱他，可是我不敢。

　　我看向他，冲他笑了笑，他也冲我笑了笑，

　　我路过他哪里，说了一句。

　　“好久不见，阿瑞。”

　　*
　　那天我去找他，他没在家，我给他买了礼物，可是我找不到他人了。

　　我妈到处说，我找到女朋友了，其实我根本就没有什么女朋友。

　　我只是说有人想要追求我。

　　我没同意。

　　我的爱人就在我身边，我没有勇气表白，我不知道他喜不喜欢我。

　　第二天，我去送鸡蛋了，他在家，我看到他在藏一个什么东西，我没有看清楚。

　　我忘记带礼物了。

　　礼物里面还有一封信，是我想要对他说的话。

　　他问我。

　　凌瑞:我妈出去了，有事吗?

　　安漾:我妈让我过来送鸡蛋，放哪里?

　　凌瑞:我来就好，给我吧。

　　他突然脸色大变，手唔着了肚子。

　　我有点担心。
　　连忙问道。

　　安漾:你怎么了?

　　凌瑞:没事。

　　安漾:好吧，实在不行的话，去医院看看。

　　凌瑞:好。

　　我心不自觉的疼了一下。

　　凌瑞:还有事吗?

　　安漾:没了。

　　凌瑞:那你回去吧。

　　安漾:好。

　　他变的不爱说话了也可能是不想和我说话吧。

　　我还是有点担心他，可是我不能做出任何的表情。

　　凌瑞，等着我，我总有一天会向你告白的。

　　我爱你。
　　我真的好喜欢你。

　　隔壁吵架了。
　　好吵啊。

　　阿瑞你听见了吗?一年了，他们还是这样天天吵架，要是你的话，你肯定有要说了。

　　隔壁终于消停了。

　　我妈让我去叫凌瑞。

　　我连忙起身就去。

　　我的手在半空中始终不敢敲门，送鸡蛋的时候门是开的。

　　最后还是敲响了门。

　　门开的那一刻起，我看到了他那个苍白的脸色。

　　吓了一跳。

　　他哑着声音问我:怎么了?

　　我想说的话都没来的及说完

　　安漾:那个……，你的脸色还差你怎么了?

　　凌瑞:没事，胃疼而已。

　　安漾:吃药了吗?

　　凌瑞:吃了，放心，没事，死不了。

　　安漾:好，你爸妈说他们今天不回来了让你去我家吃饭。
　　他拒绝了我。

　　凌瑞:不用了谢谢。

　　我皱去了眉头接着说:胃疼就得吃一点。

　　凌瑞:不用了。
　　安漾:好吧。

　　我回到了家。

　　我妈问我瑞瑞呢?我说他不来。

　　于是我妈就个凌瑞的妈妈打了电话。

　　他妈妈说没事。

　　几个月后。

　　这几个月我们都没有几过面，他的妈妈说，他生病了，不能出来。

　　我很想去看看他，可是我没有这个勇气。

　　只到我听说他死了。

　　他的妈妈在房间里，抱着他哭，我在外面听着那个哭身，我的心好疼。

　　他倒在了那个血床单上样子很是吓人。

　　这是我的阿瑞，他这么成这样了。

　　我不敢相信。

　　他的妈妈哭的呼吸不上来了。

　　于是被急忙拉了出来。

　　我进去了。

　　去了他的床底，摸到了一张纸，是一个检验报告。

　　胃癌晚期…。
　　他的妈妈看到了。连忙过来，抢走了那张纸。
　　崩溃痛哭。

　　我的手都在发抖。

　　凌瑞的妈妈被别人拉出了门外。

　　我看着我的阿瑞，心的要疼死了。

　　我吻了一下那具冰冷的尸体连嘴唇都是冰的。

　　凌瑞你疼不疼啊。

　　对不起，我要是早点发现你也可能就不会死了

　　我握着他的手，好凉。
　　阿瑞，我给你唔热，好不好?

　　安漾的眼泪都出来了，但是他的阿瑞还是没有醒来，

　　阿瑞喜欢海。
　　阿瑞他被烧成了灰，洒进了大海里。
　　阿瑞，我带你看海。
　　好漂亮啊。

　　你看到了吗?
　　我爱你。

　　回到家后，我打开了那个礼物。

　　信上写的是:我爱你，小时候就爱上了，你愿意和我一起生活吗?阿瑞。

　　安漾后悔了，他应该在他生病的时候去看他的，去照顾他。
　　他妈妈只知道他生病了，但是不知道自己的孩子会离开自己。

　　我还在想等你病好了，我要向你告白呢。
　　那现在说吧。

　　凌瑞，我喜欢你。和我在一起吧。

　　我爱你。
　　（英文版指路）
　　Attack perspective

　　I have a neighbour who looks good. Let's grow up together.

　　His name is Ling Rui.

　　I like him. He knows that I am homophobic, but I like him so much.

　　He is very gentle. I'm an impatient person. But he can listen to me very seriously.

　　Looking at me, his eyes are so beautiful.

　　I successfully became his secret lover.

　　I went abroad.

　　I miss him so much. Every day, I think he can't sleep.

　　A year later.

　　I'm back to China. I didn't ask them to pick me up.

　　I went to the neighbourhood and saw him. I wanted to hug him, but I didn't dare.

　　I looked at him and smiled at him, and he also smiled at me.

　　I passed by him and said something.

　　"Long time no see, Ari."

　　*

　　I went to see him that day. He was not at home. I bought him a gift, but I couldn't find anyone else.

　　My mother said everywhere that I had found a girlfriend, but in fact, I didn't have a girlfriend at all.

　　I'm just saying someone wants to pursue me.

　　I didn't agree.

　　My lover is by my side. I don't have the courage to confess. I don't know if he likes me or not.

　　The next day, I went to deliver eggs. He was at home. I saw something he was hiding. I didn't see it clearly.

　　I forgot to bring a gift.

　　There is also a letter in the gift that I want to say to him.

　　He asked me.

　　Ling Rui: My mother is out. What can I do for you?

　　Anyang: My mother asked me to come and deliver eggs. Where to put them?

　　Ling Rui: I'll just come. Give it to me.

　　His face suddenly changed greatly and his hands were not in his stomach.

　　I'm a little worried.

　　I asked quickly.

　　What's wrong with you?

　　Ling Rui: It's okay.

　　Avene: Well, if it really doesn't work, go to the hospital.

　　Ling Rui: OK.

　　My heart hurt unconsciously.

　　Ling Rui: Is there anything else?

　　Avene: No more.

　　Ling Rui: Then go back.

　　Avene: OK.

　　He has become speechless. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me.

　　I'm still a little worried about him, but I can't make any expressions.

　　Ling Rui, wait for me. I will confess to you one day.

　　I love you.

　　I really like you.

　　I quarrelled next door.

　　It's so noisy.

　　Are you sure you hear me? For a year, they still quarrelled like this every day. If it were you, you would definitely have something to say.

　　The next door finally stopped.

　　My mother asked me to call Ling Rui.

　　I hurried up and went.

　　My hand always dares not knock on the door in mid-air. The door is open when delivering eggs.

　　Finally, he knocked on the door.

　　From the moment the door opened, I saw his pale face.

　　I was shocked.

　　He asked me in a hoarse voice, What's wrong?

　　I didn't finish what I wanted to say.

　　Ayang: Well... You still have a bad face. What's wrong with you?

　　Ling Rui: It's okay. It's just a stomachache.

　　Have you taken the medicine yet?

　　Ling Rui: Yes, don't worry, it's okay. I can't die.

　　Avene: OK, your parents said they won't come back today and asked you to come to my house for dinner.

　　He refused me.

　　Ling Rui: No, thank you.

　　I frowned and then said, "If you have a stomachache, you have to eat a little."

　　Ling Rui: No need.

　　Avene: All right.

　　I went home.

　　My mother asked me where Rui Rui was. I said he wouldn't come.

　　So my mother called Ling Rui's mother.

　　His mother said it was okay.

　　A few months later.

　　We haven't met much in the past few months, his mother said. He is sick and can't come out.

　　I really want to see him, but I don't have the courage.

　　I just heard that he was dead.

　　His mother was in the room and hugged him and cried. I listened outside to the crying body. My heart hurt so much.

　　He fell on the blood sheet and looked scary.

　　This is my Arie. He did it like this.

　　I can't believe it.

　　His mother couldn't breathe with tears.

　　So he was hurriedly pulled out.

　　I went in.

　　He went to the bottom of his bed and touched a piece of paper, which was an inspection report.

　　Advanced gastric cancer...

　　His mother saw it. Huered over and stole the paper.

　　Collapse and cry.

　　My hands are shaking.

　　Ling Rui's mother was pulled out by someone else.

　　I looked at my Arie, and my heart was going to hurt to death.

　　I kissed the cold body and his lips were frozen.

　　Ling Rui, do you hurt?

　　Sorry, if I had found out earlier, you might not have died.

　　I held his hand. It's so cold.

　　Arie, I'll give you a hot, okay?

　　Avene's tears came out, but his Ari still didn't wake up.

　　Ari likes the sea.

　　Arrey was burned to ashes and sprinkled into the sea.

　　Ari, let me show you the sea.

　　It's so beautiful.

　　Did you see it?

　　I love you.

　　When I got home, I opened the gift.

　　The letter says: I love you. I fell in love when I was a child. Would you like to live with me? Ariel.

　　Anyang regretted that he should visit him when he was sick and take care of him.

　　His mother only knew that he was sick, but she didn't know that his child would leave him.

　　I'm still thinking about when you get better. I'm going to confess to you.

　　Then say it now.

　　Ling Rui, I like you. Come with me.

　　I love you.