《神选中的孩子》北堂斯儿

39、窒息的爱

　　hey
　　stay with me
　　as I'm getting naked
　　stripped down to the bone
　　hey
　　I'm afraid
　　this could get ugly
　　and I might leave here alone
　　this is not a mistake
　　it's the dawn of a new day
　　anything goes from now
　　this is the last of illusions
　　this is the final trace of innocence
　　if I'm caught in the middle
　　I know it will be the end of me
　　hey
　　talk to me
　　don't play me with your silence
　　whisper it in my mouth
　　cause this is not about hate
　　it's the start of a new day
　　anything gose from now
　　this is the last of illusions
　　this is the final trace of innocence
　　if I'm caught in the middle
　　I know it will be the end of me
　　this is not a mistake
　　it's the down of a new day
　　hey,this is not a mistake
　　stay with me
　　hey
　　stay with me
　　as I'm getting naked
　　this is the last of illusions
　　this is the final trace of innocence
　　if I'm caught in the middle
　　I know it will be the end of me
　　the end of me
　　yeah...
　　我好像一下子失去了动力。长久以来，为之拼搏的一切，好像都失去了意义。
　　达拉意识到我的异样，对我说：“你怎么了，科利亚？你变得好快乐。”
　　快乐？我并没有刻意表现这种情感。但是，或许，我是真正快乐了吧。
　　一直，我所缺少的东西。自信。自信心。但是现在，我拥有了。
　　所以……
　　“我不想打了。”我如实说。
　　我失去的，已经回不来了。
　　我的母亲，我的弟弟，我的朋友，我的丈夫，我的情敌。
　　就算杀死斯美尔达也没有了意义。所以我说，我不想打了。
　　达拉的眼里充满了惊异。
　　“不想打？你……这么多年只为了这一个信念活着！”
　　“可是，也许，这个信念是错误的。”
　　“错误？你现在告诉我这是错误的？”达拉愤怒了，“如果你早知道，如果你早一点知道，如果你上学的时候就这么认为，那么我们就会正常地恋爱，你是魔族的公主，我是大臣阿米特梅的儿子。我们有天赋，我们成绩都很好，但只是这样。如果你那时……如果你那时我就不会这样……”
　　我很少看见他这么激动。
　　“你现在怎样了？”
　　“我？我为了你……为了守护你……被你父亲抓走，训练成那样……你懂么？你懂那种苦么？……每天都要面对死亡……后来我娶了安妮塔……因为你……我放弃了……我放弃了权力……因为我爱你……就算你嫁人了我还是爱你……现在也是……你以为我为什么加入联盟军？……恨他的是你……不是我……他对我，还是蛮好的……”
　　“所以呢？你让我打下去？”
　　“对，我不想做没结果的事情。”
　　“你还想让更多人死亡？”
　　“毕竟已经死了这么多了！”
　　……
　　残忍。
　　他好残忍。
　　……
　　“但是我看不下去了，我受不了了。达拉。”
　　我直直望着他。
　　“你懂的失去你爱的人的感觉么？”
　　“你爱的人是谁？”
　　“我妈，我弟，穆丽。你明白么……对了，你爸爸死的时候，你一滴眼泪也没流……”我悲伤地说。
　　“我的爱已经全部给了你。”
　　“爱？难道爱只有爱情么？你的爱让我窒息。”
　　……
　　I remember summers,you & me lasting forever
　　Holidays come & we'd never, never ever be apart
　　I remember spending, all of my time, every minute
　　The two of us we had our own rhythm, intune with the beat of my heart

　　Now in the summer (I miss you)
　　& in the winter (I miss you)
　　It don't matter (what I do)
　　Since you went away, since you went away
　　Now in the summer (I miss you)
　　& in the winter (I miss you)
　　It don't matter what I do
　　It don't matter what I say
　　You left it

　　You took a holiday from us
　　Took a trip & left your love
　　If your heart wasn't down forever
　　You should have told me where it was
　　You took a holiday from me
　　I guess you needed to be free
　　Would have loved you with no measure
　　& now you got me asking
　　Where (where did you go huh?, where did you go huh?)
　　Where (where did you go huh?, where did you go huh?) did you go?
　　(where did you go huh?) Where did my heart go?
　　You took a holiday
　　Where (where did you go huh?, where did you go huh?)
　　Where (where did you go huh?, where did you go huh?) did you go?
　　Why did you leave?
　　This ain't no holiday for me

　　Walkin', watching you leave there's no talking
　　Back in my arms it's so shocking, guess forever was just a dream
　　I think we could have made it, but our history now is fading
　　My image of the future is changing & baby damn that thing called destiny, got the best of me

　　Now in the summer (I miss you)
　　& in the winter (I miss you)
　　It don't matter what I do
　　It don't matter what I say
　　You left it

　　You took a holiday from us
　　Took a trip & left your love
　　If your heart wasn't down forever
　　You should have told me where it was
　　You took a holiday from me
　　I guess you needed to be free
　　Would have loved you with no measure
　　& now you got me asking
　　Where (where did you go huh?, where did you go huh?)
　　Where (where did you go huh?, where did you go huh?) did you go?
　　(where did you go huh?) Where did my heart go?
　　You took a holiday
　　Where (where did you go huh?, where did you go huh?)
　　Where (where did you go huh?, where did you go huh?) did you go?
　　Why did you leave?
　　This ain't no holiday for me

　　If I could take a step back, make it turn out different
　　I would hide those bags, and I’d tear that ticket
　　Never thought you and me would be done in a minute
　　Now I’m making new plans and you’re just not in it

　　If I could take a step back, make it turn out different
　　I would hide those bags, and I’d tear that ticket
　　Never thought you and me would be done in a minute
　　Now I’m making new plans and you’re just not in it
　　(Where did you go?)

　　You took a Holiday from us
　　Took a trip and left your love
　　If your heart went down forever
　　Should’ve told me where it was
　　You took a Holiday from me
　　I guess you needed to be free
　　Would have loved you with no measure
　　And now you got me asking

　　Where did you go? (Where?) Where did you go? (Where?)
　　Where did you go? (Where?) Where did you go? (Where?)
　　Where did you go? (Where?) Where did my heart go?
　　You take a Holiday

　　Where did you go? (Where?) Where did you go? (Where?)
　　Where did you go? (Where?) Where did you go? (Where?)
　　Where did you go? (Where?) Why do you live?
　　Is ain’t a Holiday for me