《简潞给林安深的一封信。英文版。》爱米星儿

1、第1章

　　How deep can the love be to make me feel breathless without you in my life?
I don’t know Anson.
That, I don’t know.
What I do know, is this:
Anson, I love you.
Don’t you remember? Through the phone I told you All I ever want to do is to love you.
Don’t you dare to forget! You said all you want to do is to make me feel happy...
Anson, I’m not happy.
I’m not capable of feeling happy.
My life without you is a total dark and deep ocean.
Anson you know I can’t swim.
Now I can’t see. I can’t breathe. I can’t move.
Anson I can’t live.
The life without you does not exist anymore…
Don’t you dare to think of divorce…
Don’t you dare to even mention it!
Anson Lin, you own me so much that you won’t be able to pay off with every penny you have!
Anson Lin, you own me my love…
You exchanged mine with yours.
Now it’s all gone…
You took back yours and along with mine.
I don’t have even a little bit left in me.
Anson Lin, I can’t live without love existing in me.
I can’t live without you existing in me.
Can you?
Anson Lin, I know it sounds lame but it’s true.
I miss you every minute in my life...
I miss you when I open my eyes ...
I miss you when I watch comedy...
I miss you when I try on your slippers...
I miss you when I have lunch alone...
I miss you everytime I have coriander...
I miss you everytime I saw people kissing...
I miss you so bad that my heart is going to stop beating while my brain can’t stop thinking...
Thinking and trying to recall every minute you and me
Never stop. Never getting easier.
Anson, I have been changed.
My life have been changed.
You did it.
Every block, every corner, every littlest gap
You moved it. rebuilt it.
You filled it all full with you.
Now you decide to withdrawn,
How could you expect it not going to fall?
those days with you are like dreams of me…
All those memories, all those littlest things...
I can’t shake them off me.
My life has been changed. I have been changed.
By you.
All the littlest things…
Anson Lin I’m telling you, I will never go away.
I said so.
I will keep my words.
I always do.
I said I hate divorce. I told you so. Once I get married I will never divorce.
Did you remember what you said?
You said you will never let go.
You said once I stepped in your life I will have no chance to back off.
You made me promise to never leave you.
You gave me the ring and your heart to make me keep the promise.
You gave me a promise, you said the limit is lifetime.
I trusted you. I believed you.
I believed in you, Anson Lin.
Now you want to take back your words
and your love
and your life?
......
Anson Lin, you are either stupid, or you are the biggest jerk in the world!
Anson, please don’t leave me.
Please don’t even think about it...
Anson, I repeat I miss you.
And when I say I miss you, please don’t pretend you didn’t hear me.
Don’t you dare to turn your face away! as if you don’t miss me at all...
as if you don’t love me at all...
as if you don’t care at all...
Anson, you know as much as I do, you miss me too.
Even more than I do.
You have built your whole life on me, haven’t you?
How can you remove the foundation of life?
How can you expect yourself to live without me?
Your decision is to give up your life, in the name of changing back my happiness...
Did you ever asked me?
Did you ever discussed with me?
Like before. You built a one-way castle.
You put me inside, and expecting me to be happily ever after just by being in there...
Now, you open the gate, chase me out and shut the door...
Did you ever even once asked me, do I willing to do that?
Anson, we have to stop.
Stop the way we treat each other.
Stop hiding away. Stop making decisions for each other just by the name of love.
Anson, I’m sorry about the baby.
I’m sorry I made the decision all by myself.
I’m sorry that for so many things I made you compromise in the name of loving me.
You shouldn’t do that.
I shouldn’t do that.
Anson, please believe me.
Please trust me.
Please take me as part of you, which will never stop being part of you.
Please see yourself as the specialist in front of the whole world.
Please remember, I may have to make daily contact to anyone, but you, you are different.
you are not the same. you will never be ‘anyone’.
You are the one. My one.
Anson, remember you said I’m too good to be true?
No, Anson.
It was you.
You and your love, my pretty boy.
You are the one who is too good to be true.
You are the one whom I can’t take my eyes off.
Anson, if you think you are crazy, if you think you are sick, then you have to take me with you.
Because, Anson, my baby darling, I am as crazy as you do.
Anson Lin, I can’t see through how deep your love is.
I can’t tell you how much I love you either.
Why not give us another chance?
give me your hand, I’ll lend you my shoulder.
No matter how dark your world is, please let me be there.
please, let’s go back to the beginning and learn how to love from page one.
This time, side by side.
Together.
And have this faith in us,
We will bring back the brightness of our life.
We will live.
happily ever after...