10、第91~100首 ...
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91
O thou the last fulfilment of life, Death, my death, come and whisper to me!
Day after day I have kept watch for thee; for thee have I borne the joys and pangs of life.
All that I am, that I have, that I hope and all my love have ever flowed towards thee in depth of secrecy. One final glance from thine eyes and my life will be ever thine own.
The flowers have been woven and the garland is ready for the bridegroom. After the wedding the bride shall leave her home and meet her lord alone in the solitude of night.
噢，你这生命最后的完成，死亡，我的死亡，来对我低语罢！
我曾日复一日地守望着你；为你，我忍受了生命中的欢悦和痛苦。
我的一切存在，一切所有，一切希望和一切的爱，总在秘密的深处向你奔流。你的眼光向我最后一盼，我的生命就永远是你的。
花朵已被编织，花环已为新郎备妥。婚礼行过，新娘就要离家，在静夜里和她的夫主独对了。
92
I know that the day will come when my sight of this earth shall be lost, and life will take its leave in silence, drawing the last curtain over my eyes.
Yet stars will watch at night, and morning rise as before, and hours heave like sea waves casting up pleasures and pains.
When I think of this end of my moments, the barrier of the moments breaks and I see by the light of death thy world with its careless treasures. Rare is its lowliest seat, rare is its meanest of lives.
Things that I longed for in vain and things that I got---let them pass. Let me but truly possess the things that I ever spurned and overlooked.
我知道那一日终会到来，那时我眼中尘世消失，生命默默离别，将最后的帘幕拉过我眼前。
然而繁星会在夜间守望，晨曦依旧升起，时辰起伏如海浪，抛掷着欢乐和悲伤。
当我念及我的时间的终点，时间的藩篱破碎了，在死亡的辉光里，我看见了你的世界和其中漫置的珍宝。最低微的座位也稀有，最卑贱的生命亦珍贵。
我求而不得的，和已经失去的——让它们过去罢。不过，让我真正地拥有那些我曾摒弃的和忽略的东西。
93
I have got my leave. Bid me farewell, my brothers! I bow to you all and take my departure.
Here I give back the keys of my door---and I give up all claims to my house. I only ask for last kind words from you.
We were neighbours for long, but I received more than I could give. Now the day has dawned and the lamp that lit my dark corner is out. A summons has come and I am ready for my journey.
我已经请了假。兄弟们，祝我一路平安吧！我向大家鞠了躬就要启程了。
我把门上的钥匙交还——我放弃对房子的一切权利，我只请求你们最后说几句好话。
我们做过很久的邻居，但是我接受的多，给予的少。此刻天已破晓，点亮我黑暗屋角的灯盏已灭。召命已来，我准备好启程了。
94
At this time of my parting, wish me good luck, my friends! The sky is flushed with the dawn and my path lies beautiful.
Ask not what I have with me to take there. I start on my journey with empty hands and expectant heart.
I shall put on my wedding garland. Mine is not the red-brown dress of the traveller, and though there are dangers on the way I have no fear in mind.
The evening star will come out when my voyage is done and the plaintive notes of the twilight melodies be struck up from the King's gateway.
于我动身之时，祝我好运吧，朋友们！天空晕染黎明霞光，我的前路美丽地铺展。
莫问我带什么到那去。我上路只带空手和企望之心。
我要戴上我的婚礼花冠。我的衣裳不是红褐的行装，仅管途中多险阻，我心中并无惧怕。
晚星会在我旅程结束时升起，而从王宫的大门会弹出黄昏之乐悲伤的音符。
95
I was not aware of the moment when I first crossed the threshold of this life.
What was the power that made me open out into this vast mystery like a bud in the forest at midnight!
When in the morning I looked upon the light I felt in a moment that I was no stranger in this world, that the inscrutable without name and form had taken me in its arms in the form of my own mother.
Even so, in death the same unknown will appear as ever known to me. And because I love this life, I know I shall love death as well.
The child cries out when from the right breast the mother takes it away, in the very next moment to find in the left one its consolation.
当我初次跨过此生的门槛，我并没有发觉。
是什么力量使我在这无边的神秘中开放，像森林中一颗蓓蕾在中夜绽放！
早上我看到光明，立时觉得在这世界我并非生人，那不可思议、不可名状的，已经以我母亲的形象抱我在怀。
就是如此，在死亡里，同样的不可知之物又要以我熟识之貌出现。因为我爱今生，我知道我也会同样地爱死亡。
当母亲从婴儿口中拿开右乳，他就啼哭，但他立即又从左乳得到了安慰。
96
When I go from hence let this be my parting word, that what I have seen is unsurpassable.
I have tasted of the hidden honey of this lotus that expands on the ocean of light, and thus am I blessed---let this be my parting word.
In this playhouse of infinite forms I have had my play and here have I caught sight of him that is formless.
My whole body and my limbs have thrilled with his touch who is beyond touch; and if the end comes here, let it come---let this be my parting word.
当我要离此而去，就让这个作我道别的话语——我所见过的一切，皆无与伦比。
我曾经尝过开在光明之海上莲花的隐蜜，因此而受了祝福——让这个作我道别的话语。
在这形态无穷的游戏屋里，我已经玩耍过，在这里，我瞥见了无形可拘的他。
我的全身和手足，都因着无可接触的他的触抚而喜悦颤抖；如果死亡在此来临，就让它来罢——让这个作我道别的话语。
97
When my play was with thee I never questioned who thou wert. I knew nor shyness nor fear, my life was boisterous.
In the early morning thou wouldst call me from my sleep like my own comrade and lead me running from glade to glade.
On those days I never cared to know the meaning of songs thou sangest to me. Only my voice took up the tunes, and my heart danced in their cadence.
Now, when the playtime is over, what is this sudden sight that is come upon me? The world with eyes bent upon thy feet stands in awe with all its silent stars.
当我是同你一起玩耍，我从未问过你是谁。我不懂得羞怯或惧怕，我的生活尽情喧闹。
在清晨，你会像我的小伙伴一样将我唤醒，带着我在林野间奔跑。
那些日子，我从未注意理解你对我唱的歌中意义。只有我的声音随拍相和，我的心灵应节舞蹈。
现在，当游戏时间已尽，这突然降临我眼前的是何情景？世界和它寂静的群星皆畏然肃立，垂下眼帘瞻望你的双脚。
98
I will deck thee with trophies, garlands of my defeat. It is never in my power to escape unconquered.
I surely know my pride will go to the wall, my life will burst its bonds in exceeding pain, and my empty heart will sob out in music like a hollow reed, and the stone will melt in tears.
I surely know the hundred petals of a lotus will not remain closed for ever and the secret recess of its honey will be bared.
From the blue sky an eye shall gaze upon me and summon me in silence. Nothing will be left for me, nothing whatever, and utter death shall I receive at thy feet.
我要以胜利品，我失败的花环来装饰你。我永远做不到为不被征服而逃走。
我确知我的骄傲会碰壁，我的生命会在极度痛苦中炸裂，我空虚的心会像一支空苇呜咽出哀音，顽石也会在泪水中融化。
我确知莲花的百瓣不会永远闭合，深藏花蜜的秘地必将显露。
碧空中会有一只眼睛凝视着我，默默召唤着我。什么都不会给我留下，什么都没有，我将从你的脚下领受绝对的死亡。
99
When I give up the helm I know that the time has come for thee to take it. What there is to do will be instantly done. Vain is this struggle.
Then take awayyour hands and silently put up with your defeat, my heart, and think it your good fortune to sit perfectly still where you are placed.
These my lamps are blown out at every little puff of wind, and trying to light them I forget all else again and again.
But I shall be wise this time and wait in the dark, spreading my mat on the floor; and whenever it is thy pleasure, my lord, come silently and take thy seat here.
当我松开舵盘，我知道，到你接手的时候了。该做的事情要立刻就做。挣扎无用。
那就拿开双手，默默承受你的失败吧，我的心，要想到能在你的位子上泰然稳坐，你还属幸运。
每来一点儿微弱轻风，我的灯盏便屡屡熄灭，为把它们重新点燃，我一再忘却其他。
但这次我要聪明一点，就在黑暗中等待，将我的席子铺上地板；什么时候你高兴，我的主，便悄悄走来坐在这罢。
100
I dive down into the depth of the ocean of forms, hoping to gain the perfect pearl of the formless.
No more sailing from harbour to harbour with this my weather-beaten boat. The days are long passed when my sport was to be tossed on waves.
And now I am eager to die into the deathless.
Into the audience hall by the fathomless abyss where swells up the music of toneless strings I shall take this harp of my life.
I shall tune it to the notes of forever, and when it has sobbed out its last utterance, lay down my silent harp at the feet of the silent.
我潜入万象之海深处，想得到无形无相的圆满珍珠。
我不再用我风雨斑驳的船只，从一个海港驶向另一个海港。我在波涛上颠簸弄潮的日子早已过去了。
现在我渴望死于不死之中。
我要拿起我生命的竖琴，通过奔涌无调弦歌的无底渊洞，进入观众大厅。
我要校弦至永恒之调，当它呜咽出最后的声响，我就把我沉默的竖琴放在寂静的足下。
作者有话说
第10章 第91~100首
