《疑心病》一叶知境

1、第 1 章 救我 完美犯罪

　　我妈像一条离水的鱼，满身血污倒在地上，双目圆睁，嘴巴大大的张着。
　　李建已经杀红了眼，他提着板斧一步步向我走来。
　　鲜血顺着板斧缓缓滑落，一滴一滴，砸得我心跳如鼓。
　　一个吓到腿软的八岁孩子，一个手持凶器的成年男子。
　　逃不了的。
　　我两步奔上前去，一把抱住了李建的大腿。
　　「爸，你别难过，我知道你不是有意杀我妈。你是怕她破坏了你的计划。」
　　李建眼中的血色褪去了两分。

　　我暗松了口气，干桂芬却冷着眼插嘴。

　　「这小畜生看到你杀了人，不能留活口，不过是个丫头片子，有什么舍不得?
　　李建的身体明显一僵。
　　「奶奶你别胡说，」我不敢去看李建的表情，只能连珠炮一般开口，「我是爸爸的小棉袄，爸爸最疼我了，我也最爱爸爸，长大以后我还要好好孝顺他呢。」我紧张的咽了咽口水，干巴巴转移话题:「爸爸，我们是不是要把妈妈藏起来?」
　　李建神色复杂，摸了摸我的头，把我推进了房间。
　　直到卧室门关上，我都没机会再看一眼妈妈的方向。
　　刚刚抱过李建，染了满身鲜血。
　　我蜷缩在花洒之下，在哗哗的水声中，终于敢小声啜泣起来。
　　巨大的恐惧与无助，几乎要将我小小的身体撕裂。
　　我死死咬住嘴唇，告诉自己要忍耐，才能找机会报警。
　　可是，警察叔叔会相信我吗……
　　要知道，所有人都以为妈妈死了。
　　死在两年前，而不是死在今天。
　　「阁楼上有只妖怪，你要是敢上去，它就吃你的肉，喝你的血!」于桂芬面目狰狞，不止一次这样告诫我。
　　我瑟缩着，忙不迭点头，丝毫不怀疑她话里的可信度。
　　我知道于桂芬讨厌我。
　　她骂我，死丫头、拖油瓶、不带把儿的赔钱货。
　　我甚至觉得这个怪物就是于桂芬养的，因为有好几次，我看到她端饭上阁楼。

　　可是，怪物是什么样子呢……
　　好奇和恐惧来回拉扯。
　　直到那天，好奇终于战胜了恐惧。
　　我打开了阁楼的大门，第一次看到了妈妈。
　　她和照片上一样，眉眼弯弯，只是更加苍白纤瘦。
　　「淼淼，真的是你!」她冲上来一把将我抱在怀里，「太好了，你出院了!」
　　在她欣喜若狂的注视下，我茫然摇了摇头。
　　我是李淼，可是，我没有住过院。我是个健康的孩子，童年中唯一的遗憾就是，别的小朋友都有爸爸妈妈，而我，只有爸爸和一个冷漠的奶奶。
　　我曾无数次幻想过一家三口的欢乐时光。

　　可是现在，妈妈出现了，我眼前的场景却是李建疯狂的殴打她。

　　妈妈像一团染血的破败棉絮，被拖回了阁楼。
　　我作为私开阁楼的罪魁祸首，也被一起丢了进去。
　　阁楼低矮阴暗，成年人只能勉强站直身体。
　　除了一张破旧的木板床，和已经看不出颜色的棉被，就只有几样灰扑扑的生活用品。

　　更压抑的是，阁楼没有窗，只在天花板开了个一尺见方的通风口。
　　清冷的月光透过孔隙洒下来，照得妈妈面无血色。
　　我爬过去，轻轻搂住了她的脖子。
　　将近一年时间，她心甘情愿把自己困在这个狭窄逼仄的小阁楼。
　　全都是因为，她爱我。妈妈曾经是一名地质勘探人员，在一次勘探时遇到泥石流，和队伍走散。
　　□□寻找了半个月依旧音讯全无。
　　他们不知道，妈妈被挂在了一棵树上，保住了性命，却丢失了所有通讯器材。
　　她衣衫褴褛赶回家时，李建已经和保险公司的业务员接上了头。
　　他发现勘探队给每个队员都买了意外险，失踪两年以后，他可以申请判定失踪人员意外身故，获得 100 万理赔金。
　　所以，对于妈妈的回归，李建明显是惊大于喜。
　　妈妈身体虚弱，只剩下一口气，她回来的消息还没有告诉其他人。
　　李建顺水推舟，让她躲两年，拿到赔偿金之后，我们一家再换个地方，开始新生活。

　　妈妈挂念着她的研究，严词拒绝了这种骗保行为。
　　这个时候，李建扯出了我做挡箭牌。他说，妈妈失踪后，我查出了严重的肾功能衰竭，要靠透析维持生命，等找到合适的肾源，还要做移植手术。
　　以我们的家庭状况，根本不足以维持我的生命。

　　这笔赔偿金可以说是我的买命钱。

　　事关亲生女儿的生死，妈妈妥协了。
　　我们一家搬到了乡下偏僻的老房里，妈妈住进了阁楼。
　　沉闷孤寂的单调日子中，妈妈每天都在幻想着，两年时间尽快过去，我能健康的出现在她面前。

　　然后，我出现了，打破了那个囚禁她的谎言。

　　妈妈想要离开这个家，却换来了李建一顿毒打，被丢回了阁楼，生活质量也大幅下降。
　　每天只有一餐，吃的是我们的剩饭剩菜，还要过一遍冷水，洗去盐分。
　　因为盐分摄入不足，妈妈四肢无力，浑身浮肿，大把大把的掉头发。开始时，他们还把妈妈绑起来，嘴里塞上抹布。
　　后来他们就不用费事了，因为长久的营养不良，饥饿和虚弱已经让妈妈没有了逃跑和喊叫的力气。
　　一同被囚禁起来的还有我。
　　老房子地处偏僻，在村子的最角落。
　　李建在镇上打工，隔三差五带回一些生活用品。
　　于桂芬则负责看守我和妈妈，不让我们迈出房子一步。
　　可是他们忽略了，妈妈没有喊叫的力气，我有。
　　那一天，于桂芬反锁大门，去村里走亲戚。

　　我扑到防盗窗上，眼巴巴等了两个小时，才看到一个推着自行车的中年大叔。

　　「救命，救救我!」
　　我挥舞着胳膊，拼命冲他大喊。
　　大叔面带疑惑，刚想过来查看，就撞上了回家的于桂芬。于桂芬满脸堆笑和大叔攀谈起来，她指了指我，像是在数落一个顽劣不听话的孩子。
　　大叔最终还是没有过来。
　　他一转身，于桂芬脸上的笑容就消失了。
　　她快步向房子走来。
　　每走一步，眼中的阴狠就加重一分。
　　（英文版指路）
　　My mother fell to the ground like a fish leaving the water, covered with blood, her eyes wide open, and her mouth wide open.

　　Li Jian had blushed, and he came to me step by step with a plate axe.

　　Blood slowly slipped down the plate axe, dropping by drop, which made my heart beat like a drum.

　　An eight-year-old child who scared weak legs, an □□ man with a murder weapon.

　　I can't escape.

　　I ran forward in two steps and hugged Li Jian's thigh.

　　"Dad, don't be sad. I know you didn't mean to kill my mother. You are afraid that she will ruin your plan."

　　The blood colour in Li Jian's eyes faded by two points.

　　I was secretly relieved, but Gan Guifen interrupted coldly.

　　"When this little beast sees you kill someone, he can't keep his mouth alive. He is just a girl's film. What can't bear to part?

　　Li Jian's body is obviously stiff.

　　"Grandma, don't talk nonsense," I dare not look at Li Jian's expression, so I can only say, "I'm my father's little cotton-padded jacket. Dad loves me the most, and I also love my father the most. When I grow up, I will be filial to him." I swallowed nervously and drooled the topic: "Dad, are we going to hide our mother?"

　　Li Jian looked complicated. He touched my head and pushed me into the room.

　　Until the bedroom door closed, I didn't have a chance to look at my mother's direction again.

　　I just hugged Li Jian and was stained with blood.

　　I curled up under the shower, and in the sound of water, I finally dared to sob in a low voice.

　　Great fear and helplessness almost tore my little body apart.

　　I bit my lip to death and told myself to be patient before I could find a chance to call the police.

　　However, will the police uncle believe me...

　　You know, everyone thinks mom is dead.

　　He died two years ago, not today.

　　"There is a monster in the attic. If you dare to go up, it will eat your meat and drink your blood!" Yu Guifen's face was ferocious and warned me more than once.

　　I shrank, nodded hurriedly, and had no doubt about the credibility of her words.

　　I know Yu Guifen hates me.

　　She scolded me, a dead girl, a mop the oil bottle, and the loser without a handle.

　　I even think this monster was raised by Yu Guifen, because several times I saw her bring rice to the attic.

　　However, what does a monster look like...

　　Curiosity and fear pull back and forth.

　　Until that day, curiosity finally prevailed over fear.

　　I opened the door of the attic and saw my mother for the first time.

　　Like in the photo, her eyebrows are bent, but she is paler and thinner.

　　"Miao Miao, it's really you!" She rushed up and held me in her arms. "Great, you're discharged from the hospital!"

　　Under her ecstatic gaze, I shook my head blankly.

　　I'm Li Miao, but I haven't been hospitalised. I am a healthy child. The only regret in my childhood is that other children have parents, and I only have my father and an indifferent grandmother.

　　I have fantasised about the happy hour of a family of three countless times.

　　But now, my mother has appeared, but the scene in front of me is Li Jian beating her crazily.

　　Mom was dragged back to the attic like a ball of dilapidated cotton wool stained with blood.

　　As the culprit of private attic opening, I was also thrown in together.

　　The attic is low and dark, and adults can barely stand straight.

　　Except for an old wooden bed and quilts that can no longer be seen in colour, there are only a few gray daily necessities.

　　What's more depressing is that there is no window in the attic, and only a square vent is opened on the ceiling.

　　The cold moonlight spilled through the pores, so that my mother's face was bloodless.

　　I climbed over and gently put my arms around her neck.

　　For nearly a year, she was willing to trap herself in this narrow and narrow attic.

　　It's all because she loves me. My mother used to be a geological prospector. During an exploration, she encountered mudslides and scattered with the team.

　　Al-Qaeda has been looking for it for half a month, but there is still no news.

　　They didn't know that her mother was hung on a tree and saved her life, but lost all her communication equipment.

　　When she rushed home in ragged clothes, Li Jian had already connected with the salesman of the insurance company.

　　He found that the exploration team had bought accident insurance for each team member. Two years after his disappearance, he could apply for the judgement of the accidental death of the missing person and receive 1 million compensation.

　　Therefore, Li Jian was obviously more surprised than happy about his mother's return.

　　My mother is weak and has only one breath left. She hasn't told anyone about her return yet.

　　Li Jianshun pushed the boat and asked her to hide for two years. After getting the compensation, our family changed places and began a new life.

　　My mother was worried about her research and severely rejected this kind of insurance fraud.

　　At this time, Li Jian pulled out my shield. He said that after my mother disappeared, I found that I had severe renal failure. I had to rely on dialysis to support my life. When I found a suitable kidney source, I had to have a transplant operation.

　　Our family situation is not enough to support my life at all.

　　This compensation can be said to be my life-threatening money.

　　The mother compromised about the life and death of her own daughter.

　　Our family moved to a remote old house in the countryside, and my mother lived in the attic.

　　During the dull and lonely monotonous days, my mother fantasised every day that two years passed as soon as possible, and I could appear in front of her healthily.

　　Then I appeared and broke the lie that imprisoned her.

　　My mother wanted to leave the house, but in exchange for Li Jian's vicious beating, she was thrown back to the attic, and her quality of life also dropped sharply.

　　There is only one meal a day. We eat our leftovers, and we have to go through cold water and wash away the salt.

　　Because of insufficient salt intake, her mother's limbs were weak, swollen all over her body, and a lot of her hair fell off. At first, they also tied up their mother and stuffed rags in their mouths.

　　Later, they didn't have to bother, because long-term malnutrition, hunger and weakness have left their mothers without the strength to escape and shout.

　　I was also imprisoned together.

　　The old house is located in remote corner of the village.

　　Li Jian worked in the town and brought back some daily necessities from time to time.

　　Yu Guifen is responsible for guarding me and my mother and not letting us take a step into the house.

　　But they ignored it. Mom doesn't have the strength to shout. I have it.

　　On that day, Yu Guifen locked the door and went to the village to visit relatives.

　　I jumped into the anti-theft window and waited for two hours before I saw a middle-aged uncle pushing his bicycle.

　　"Help, help me!"

　　I waved my arm and shouted at him desperately.

　　Uncle was puzzled. As soon as he wanted to come over and check, he bumped into Yu Guifen, who went home. Yu Guifen smiled and talked to her uncle. She pointed to me as if she were counting a naughty and disobedient child.

　　Uncle didn't come in the end.

　　As soon as he turned around, the smile on Yu Guifen's face disappeared.

　　She quickly walked to the house.

　　At every step, the ruth in my eyes aggravated by one point.

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