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清晨,走在深秋的校园,马路两旁的树叶已经开始变黄和变红。想着现在也是北京最美的季节,能让北京变回北平的季节。老舍说:“秋天一定要住北平。天堂是什么样子,我不晓得,但从我的生活经验去判断,北平之秋便是天堂。”北京的秋,阳光、蓝天仿佛都被一夜的秋风过滤一般,阳光透亮清澈、蓝天纯净无边,
一直都想同你,去看香山的红叶,但,终究错过……
2018年的秋天,蓝天、小黄车、北京宽阔的马路,和目的地的音乐剧《Cats》,一部关于“回忆”的剧。现在的我如那只名叫格里泽贝拉的猫一样。看完剧后,走在大使馆林立的街道上,畅想着有一天,你拿到美国大学offer,在大使馆门口,排着长长的队伍等候面签。一天的行程太短,我要离开北京回去那个城市,临行前,你请我吃煎饺,一个在你家乡很常见的小吃,你喜爱的小吃之一。
2019年的秋天,我们一起去爬八达岭长城,坐上小火车以为可以看到满山的红叶,吃着芥末味的薯片。一点点辛辣。因为前一晚没有确定下行程,早起有些匆忙,上车前你担心回程会耽误助理工作,以至于要放弃。小矛盾以后的攀登,虽然没有看到红叶,但是手拉着手的幸福,冲下山赶上火车的庆幸,你疲惫的把头靠在我的肩头睡着的模样,一切都是那么平凡,却又是那么快乐。这一次我们还一起去了文艺范十足的798,扛回那副迎风的“雄狮”像。吃了我们爱吃的日本料理和西班牙大餐。
2020年的秋天,我站在上园路3号,望着依旧没有杂质的蓝天,倔强地背对着你,上了再也不回头的车,离去……
不想回忆,不敢回忆,可是怕时间长了,自己的记忆会慢慢地模糊。
Leave night, not a sound from the pavement
has the moon lost her memory
she is smiling alone
in the lamplight
the withered leaves collect at my feet
and the wind begins to moan
memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
let the memory live again
every street lamp seems to beat
a fatalistic warning
someone mutters and the street lamp sputters
and soon it will be morning
daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life and I mustn\'t give in
when the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too
and a new day will begin
burnt out ends of smoky days
the stale court smell of morning
a street lamp dies another night is over
another day is dawning
touch me,
it is so easy to leave me
all alone with the memory
of my days in the sun
if you\'ll touch me,
you\'ll understand what happiness is
look, a new day has begun
——《memory》出自于《Cats》