《以殇（GL）》京小京

1、第 1 章

　　到今天，分手两周了。
　　好像心情开始慢慢没那么难过。

　　我给自己找了很多的事情做，白天工作兼盯着大盘，继续学炒股理财，晚上看看书，学学东西。分手了的日子与以往没什么不同，只是每天都还是会有那么一阵，心里难过，然而这样的时刻，在一天比一天减少。所以我想，我在一点点复原。

　　最后一次见面，是周末和她去吃比格。
　　她把从英国带回来的生日礼物交给我，是BodyShop的茶油系列。我接过来道谢，特意地去看她的左手，依旧还戴着和我一样的情侣表。
　　两个人窝在角落的沙发里坐着，草草地拿了些吃的，也不说话，只是沉默。
　　她说，我看了你给我写的那些信。我没有回，我怕自己会心软。

　　I slowly went through the pages of mails you wrote to me. "How much responsibility of you?", you asked me. I never answered.

　　And looking back...

　　We got into stupid little fights over everything. That was the problem. And when things were fine, they weren’t really fine. They won’t good or relaxed. It was all so tense, and everything we fought, I left a little taste in my mouth.

　　Yep, you may scold me again, for downplaying all your complaint. I do know that, always your complaint does not ask for suggestions but someone to listen to you.

　　I have always believed we’ve known each other well...But love...it is love that needs not only understanding but tolerance.

　　Then one day when I woke...and found I had lost the love I cherished for most…After quarrels time and again, we were both fed up and gave up our love without patience.

　　Only then I realized, right then and there, that I loved you so much because you were the kindest person I ever had. We have known each other for 5 years. We have been the most important person to each other. When I felt happy or sorrow, I went right to you.

　　But...things have been changed...

　　I rest my head in my hands and watch your photos day and night, tortured by the painful emotion in my heart.

　　Thinking about your question...

　　A lot. I may answer...

　　这封信，我用了英文，这其实是一封没有写完的信，几次落泪，几次停笔...想说的有那么多，能写下来的，却变成了那么少。字字句句，记得清清晰晰。而难过的感觉也如此。

　　我想潇洒地放手，也想试着微笑对她说，我祝福你，也祝福我们各自将来的美好生活...
　　但当你还在乎一个人的时候，你是如何也潇洒不起来的。

　　同样是在这家我们曾经常来的比格，我看着她，这个我曾经最亲密且认识了5年的人...她喜欢这里田园味的匹萨，从不吃烧烤味；她喜欢奶茶，不爱橙汁；她喜欢意面，不吃茄子...
　　我只能酸楚地看着她，说不出话来。
　　别盯着我看。她头也不抬的说。
　　我没有。我回答。
　　她叹口气，抬起头来，看着我。我对你的了解还不够么？即使不在看着你，我也知道你在做什么...
　　我默然，是啊，我们对对方的了解还不够么？可是如果足够，那为何还要分开呢？！