61、三签名 ...
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11 August
The Sign of Three
8月11日
三签名（正确来说是三个的迹象——看了剧的孩纸大家懂得）
Wow!!!!!!!!! What a day!!!!!! That was the best wedding ever!!!!!! Sherlock was amazing! Love is amazing! Fluffy clouds and little birds are amazing!!! It was all just like so amazing! I'm going to write up all about it here! Because you all love reading my blog because I'm such a good writer!!! Perhaps I'll write about some of the other mundane stuff I do like playing board games or eating sandwiches and drinking tea in front of the Eastenders!
哇！！！！！！！！！真是个大日子！！！！！！史上最好的婚礼！！！！！！夏洛克太棒了！爱太棒了！蓬松的云彩和小鸟太棒了！所有东西都太棒太棒了！我会在这里把一切都写出来！因为你们都爱看我的博客因为我写得那么好！！！也许我还会写点别的俗事，比如我喜欢玩牌、边看《东区人》①边吃三明治喝茶！
Sorry. I can't do it any more. I was going to attempt to mimic John's style of writing for an entire blog post but life's too short. And I say that as someone who died over two years ago. Good evening everyone, this is Sherlock Holmes. John can't be with you today as he is on his Sex Holiday. Sorry, honeymoon.
抱歉，我坚持不下去了。我本来想通篇模仿约翰的写作风格，但人生实在是太短暂了。比方说某人就死在了两年前。大家晚上好，我是夏洛克·福尔摩斯。约翰今天不能来，因为他在享受他的□□假期。抱歉，蜜月。
Apparently we aren't allowed to call it Sex Holiday. Apparently we really shouldn't tell children that John and his wife have gone on Sex Holiday. They've chosen to go somewhere hot and sunny with beaches and cocktails or something. To be honest, he talks about things and I phase out. She's the same. They're both perfectly acceptable friends in their own way but then they start talking and I wish I really had died. I am, however, quite happy that they have found each other and that they make each other happy. That's nice, isn't it. And it is very nice to have the place to myself without their meaningless chatter distracting me from more important things.
显然我们不能管那叫H月。显然我们的确是不应该告诉孩子们约翰跟他的妻子去过□□假期了。他们去了一个炎热而阳光灿烂、有沙滩和鸡尾酒或管他什么东西的地方。说真的，他说的东西我都左耳进右耳出*，她的也一样。他们各自都是令人满意的完美朋友，但当他们开始说话，我就希望我是真的已经死了。不管怎么说，我还是很高兴他们遇见了彼此，并令彼此幸福。那很美好，不是吗。而没有他们那些无意义的闲聊打扰我做更重要的事，一个人清清静静地独享一处，也相当美好。
Anyway. I decided that I'd share with you a video of the wedding. It's a video of the photos of the wedding. Sadly there are no photos of the attempted murder. If there are any attempted murders at John's next wedding, I promise to take photos.
不管怎么说，我决定在此与大家分享一段婚礼视频。这是段婚礼上照片的视频。很可惜没有那起谋杀未遂事件的照片。如果约翰下一场婚礼上再发生什么谋杀未遂事件，我承诺一定会拍照。
Good evening.
晚安。
Sherlock Holmes
Consulting Detective and Best Man
夏洛克·福尔摩斯
咨询侦探兼伴郎
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43 comments
43条回复
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this post is somewhat of a curates egg as while the prose is better i do not come here to read about weddings
theimprobableone 11 August
这篇博客算得上是好坏参半，文笔比原来的好，但我不是来看婚礼故事的。
不可思议的某某 8月11日
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Looks like it was a brilliant day! Congratulations and sorry again I couldn't make it!
Mike Stamford 11 August
看起来这真是精彩的一天！恭喜，并再次为我未能到场说声抱歉。
迈克·斯坦福 8月11日
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sorry john :(
Harry Watson 11 August
对不起约翰(╯_╰)
哈莉·华生 8月11日
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STOP POSTING ON MY BLOG! AND THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER WEDDING!
John Watson 11 August
别·再·在·我·博·客·上·写·东·西！而·且·不·会·再·有·下·一·长婚·礼！
约翰·华生 8月11日
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Does your wife know you're on the Internet when you're supposed to be enjoying your Sex Holiday with her
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
你老婆知道你在本应陪她享受□□假期的时候跑来上网吗？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月11日
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Yes. Yes, she does.
Mary Morstan 11 August
是的，是的，她知道。
玛丽·莫斯坦 8月11日
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LOLZZ!
Dame Latif 11 August
大笑特笑
拉提芙夫人 8月11日
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Awh!! Lovely!!
Donna Staveley 11 August
嗷！！好可爱！！
斯提芙利女士 8月11日
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Mary. I've been doing some research and you need to avoid seafood.
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
玛丽。我查了下，你得忌口别吃海鲜。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月11日
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SHERLOCK! SHUT UP NOW!
Mary Morstan 11 August
夏·洛·克！现·在·给·我·闭·嘴！
玛丽·莫斯坦 8月11日
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I've just had a text from John. I'll shut up now.
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
刚收到约翰的短信。这就闭嘴。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月11日
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Seafood eh!
Jacob Sowersby 11 August
海鲜嗯！？
雅各布·索维斯拜 8月11日
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Why do you all comment on this Some of you don't even know John.
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
为什么你们全都在回复这个？你们之中有些人甚至不认识约翰。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月11日
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We're just happy for him!
Jacob Sowersby 11 August
我们只是为他感到高兴！
雅各布·索维斯拜 8月11日
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But haven't you got better things to be doing You're spending all your time on the Internet.
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
但你们就没有别的事情该做的吗？你们在把所有时间都耗费在了网上。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月11日
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Is this why most of you are single
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
是不是正因为如此，你们中的大部分人都还是单身？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月11日
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Sherlock. You're being rude again.
John Watson 12 August
夏洛克。你又开始没礼貌了。
约会·华生 8月12日
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John. You are reading your blog again.
Mary Morstan 12 August
约翰。你又在刷你的博客了。
玛丽·莫斯坦 8月12日
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Sorry:)
John Watson 12 August
抱歉^_^
约翰·华生 8月12日
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I just don't understand whyyou're all here. Go outside and find something to do.
Sherlock Holmes 12 August
我只是不明白为什么你们都泡在这里。到外头去找些事情做吧。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月12日
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Pot. Kettle. Black.
Mike Stamford 12 August
五十步笑一百步。
迈克·斯坦福 8月12日
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HAHAHAAHA!!! MIKE WINS THE INTERNET!!!
Dame Latif 12 August
哈哈哈啊哈！！！迈克是网路赢家！！！*
拉提芙夫人 8月12日
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I don't understand the reference.
Sherlock Holmes 12 August
我不明白笑点在哪。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月12日
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He's asking whyyou're here.
Bill Murray 12 August
他在问为什么你又会泡在这里。
比尔·默里 8月12日
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Aren't you an actor
Sherlock Holmes 12 August
你不是个演员吗？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月12日
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Not that Bill Murray.
Bill Murray 12 August
我不是那个比尔·默里。
比尔·默里 8月12日
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DARLING!!!!!!! The photos look amazing and your wife looks amazing!! Big hugs to you both!!! Sorry again we couldn't be there but Ted's leg was doing that thing again and we just couldn't make it and I wish we had because it looks like such a wonderful beautiful heart-breaking celebration of absolute love!! Big hugs to you both!! Big squishy hugs!!!! Xxxxxxxxxxxx
Stella and Ted 12 August
亲爱的！！！！！！！照片看上去太棒了你老婆也棒极了！！熊抱你们两个！！！再次道歉，我们没去成是因为泰德的脚又那啥了，没办法，我真希望我们能去，因为这看起来真是一个美妙绝伦令人心碎的纯爱庆典*！！熊抱你们两个！！软绵绵的熊抱*！！！！Muaaa~~~~~~~~~
斯特拉和泰德 8月12日
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You couldn't make this up.
Sherlock Holmes 12 August
你们不能那么干。*
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月12日
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Did nobody notice the attempted murder I mentioned What's wrong with you all
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
没有人注意到我说的那件谋杀未遂案子吗？你们这都什么毛病？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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Par for the course, mate.
Mike Stamford 13 August
意料之中，伙计。
迈克·斯坦福 8月13日
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You use the word 'mate' a lot, Mike. It's a sign that you're overcompensating for your very middle-aged, middle-class existence. You want the world to see you as young and cool.
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
你用“伙计”这个词用太多了，迈克。这意味着你过于在意自己人到中年还处于中产阶级的事实。你希望全世界都觉得你既年轻又够酷。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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Who else wants to be deconstructed
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
还有谁想要被分析？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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do me
theimprobableone 13 August
给我来一下
不可思议的某某 8月13日
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LOL!! theimprobableone wants Sherlock to do him.
Jacob Sowersby 13 August
大笑！！不可思议的某某希望夏洛克上他。（双关……好难翻）
雅各布·索维斯拜 8月13日
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You are all utterly ridiculous. And still none of you have asked about the attempted murder. John has catalogued two cases on this blog that we have since discovered tied into what happened today. The Bloody Guardsman featured a brilliant attempted murder. In the case of The Mayfly Man, I deduced the how but not the why. During the wedding I discovered the answer to both. Bainbridge had been stabbed by a tiny blade through his belt. The belt bound the flesh together when it was tied tight but once he removed it he started to die. It was a delayed action stabbing. It transpires that he was merely a test subject for the attempted murder at the wedding. The Mayfly Man was the man who attempted to kill Bainbridge. He was sleeping with women to get close to another potential victim. Through them he discovered that the victim would be at John and Mary's wedding.
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
你们都有够滑稽的。还是没有一个人问起那桩谋杀未遂案。约翰在这博客里写过两个案子，直到今天发生那事之前我们都没有发现它们之间的联系。染血的卫兵描写了一起高明的谋杀。而在露水情人一案中，我推断出了手法却没推断出动机。婚礼中我解开了这两件案子。班布里奇是被小刀片从腰带处刺中的。腰带紧束时将伤处也紧紧束缚起来，但一旦腰带解下，他就危险了。这是延时谋杀。原来这只是为婚礼上的谋杀做的预演。那位露水情人就是试图杀害班布里奇的犯人。他跟那些女人上床是为了接触另一位潜在的被害人。通过她们，他发现被害人会出现在约翰和玛丽的婚礼上。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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Does anyone want to ask me how I worked it all out And who the potential victim was
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
有人想知道我是怎么解开这一切的吗？想知道那位潜在的被害人是谁吗？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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Anyone
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
有人吗？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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John would ask me if he was here. He always asks me what's going on and how i worked it out.
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
如果约翰在的话他会问我的。他总是会问我发生了什么事和我是怎么知道的。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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Anyone
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
有人吗？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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i am interested but I am going out on a date
theimprobableone 13 August
我很感兴趣但我现在要出去约会了
不可思议的某某 8月13日
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ANYONE!
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
有·人·吗！？
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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Sweetheart, do you want me to come up and play Cluedo wuith you
Mrs Hudson 13 August
甜心，你需要我来陪你玩妙探寻踪吗？
哈德森太太 8月13日
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If you must.
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
如你所愿。
夏洛克·福尔摩斯 8月13日
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作者有话说
第61章 三签名
