《青春奠》只爱我自己

1、最后一封e-mail

　　My dear Francy,
　　I am sorry, I can’t promise you anything, because I can’t adapt myself to the outside world, you know I have lived on the campus for a whole ten years, here I fall in love with a Chinese woman, here I learned Chinese, here I lost my eyesight. And now I am blind, I am deprived of the right to see you, but all these days I have been imaging how lovely you are. You are indeed a lovely girl, your appearance, your voice, your actions……I know it，although i can\'t see anything.
　　But I am really so sorry, for I just can’t help loving you, in the mean timeI must forget all that. You are a promising young girl, while I am old, I am blind, I don’t want them to dismiss you, I am obliged to protect you from being treated that way. You know they will do that, that’s their responsibility, I mean, to safeguard the regulations and rules of the university, that’s an atmosphere you can’t choose or change, so accept it. I know you don’t like your major now, but please never give up, get the bachelor’s degree and you could make another choice, you can choose literature when you passed the entrance examination for the graduate degree, but if you drop now, you will get nothing. no opportunity at all.See?.
　　I have resigned this morning, and I will go to another city tomorrow, there I have an old classmate. He will pick me up and help me. I can\'t believe at last l have to choose to leave everything in this city, you and my memory. Please take care of yourself for me, and trust me, I will be ok，just for you.
　　（本文翻译：
　　亲爱的Francy:
　　我很抱歉不能给你任何承诺，因为我已经无法适应外面的世界，你知道我在这校园里已经呆了十年，我是在这儿爱上了一个中国女人，在这儿学的中文，也是在这儿失去了视力。现在我瞎了，它们剥夺了我见你的权利，但这些日子，我一直在想，你是一个多麽可爱的女孩儿，你确实是的，你的样子，你的声音，你的动作……我知道，虽然我看不见。
　　但我真是非常抱歉，因为我是这般不可控制地爱你，却又不得不忘记这一切。你是一个有前途的年轻女孩儿，而我已老，我已失明。我不想让他们把你开除掉，只是有义务保护你，使你免遭这样的厄运。你知道他们会这样做的，那是他们的责任，我是说，它们的责任就是维护大学的那些条例规定，这是你的生存环境，你无法选择，也无法改变，那麽接受它吧。我知道你不喜欢现在的专业，但请你永远不要放弃，拿到学士学位，然后你才有机会作进一步的选择，通过研究生入学考试的时候你就可以选择你喜欢的文学了。可如果你现在就要放弃，则终将一事无成,没有任何机会？明白吗？
　　今天早上我递上了辞呈，明天就将启程去另外一个城市，哪儿我有一个旧同学，他会帮我打点一切的。我简直不能相信，最终我还是得把一切，把你连同我所有的记忆都留在这城市。请你为了我多珍重，也请相信我，我会过的很好，为你。）

作者有话说

　　这一段是作品倒数的章节，偶打算用这样的写法展开故事，不知道大家希望这将是一个怎样的故事呢？ 顺便说，我是第一次写东西啊，给点儿脚声鼓励吧。