《非正式武侠》crazy兽

1、说在前面的话 2

　　2006年X月X日，午夜12：00。
　　某强女家灯光闪烁，幽暗的电视机光照出某强女狰狞可怖的面容。“呵呵，贞子终于要出现了！！”电视机中突然冒出一个黑发遮面的人头（详情请参考《午夜凶铃》），终于画面上完全出现了贞子的脸……
　　某强女眼中散发着诡异的光芒，笑的稍微有点抽筋的面部异常激动的贴在电视上。此时，某女的脸与电视的距离只有0.001公分，她的心脏跳的不是一般的快，等待就要有什么事发生了，可是——
　　镜头定格了一秒，两秒，三秒……然后贞子姐姐一转身，电影照旧！！
　　“吔？？！！不对啊！！贞子应该会爬出来的，电视快点把贞子还给我！！！！”月黑风高杀人夜，据说，这天晚上某著名闹鬼别墅内传出了杀猪般的鬼叫声（鬼：别侮辱我）。
　　某强女仍然死性不改，点着小蜡烛（为什么有人会有灯不用非要退化点蜡烛呢？？只要理解为她很不正常就行了）专心致志的看书。只见书上几个鲜明大字，居然几个字占满了全部的封面，这么大的字恐怕瞎子都不能不看见了。这几个大字是——
　　编号89757（图书馆借的）：灵异现象一点通。
　　翻开第一页，白纸黑字当当的写着：教你怎么与甜美可爱，美丽动人（？）的贞子姐姐在午夜约会……
　　某强女气极，大手一挥在第一页上画了一个狂大无比的差。接着翻到第二页，这一页的内容是：教你如何鬼上身……
　　第三页……
　　第四页……
　　借着微弱的烛光，就看见某影子挥舞的手不停在书上一页页画下大红差差（撇开她是神经病不谈，这应该算是破坏图书吧！！赔钱！！）
　　终于到了最后一页。连作者我看的都不耐烦了，本来就是嘛，明明是本人安排的剧情结果还老不让她穿越，剧情罗嗦的让人想上吊，摆明了不给本人面子嘛！！所以本人决定无论如何也要让某女穿越！！
　　到了最后一页，某女翻开最后一页。终于看到了某无良作者为了发展剧情而临时添上去的一句话：穿越时空魔咒——吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮，不吃葡萄倒吐葡萄皮！！（好孩子不要模仿~~读者大大：告你个无良作者诈骗！！）
　　接着某女就念了一遍咒语，然后就见一道金光包围，某女就到了某时代要风有风要雨有雨去了，吃香的喝辣的，帅哥满天飞，最后一女N男幸福美一天。
　　-------------------------------THE END--------------------------------------
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　　某强女看到这一页后，足足愣了两分钟，眼神呆滞了三分钟，心跳停止了四分钟，脑死亡了五分钟（这样人还不死了？？）……后（原来还有“后”啊！！！）忽然以迅雷不及掩儿之速（人家才晓得的词拿出来显摆显摆）翻到封面。然后用放大镜在封面找了许久，终于在标题下发现了一行比蚂蚁还要小的字：“本书内容，纯属虚构。如有雷同，纯属巧合……”！！！
　　“靠！！！”接着这本本来就已经残破不堪，在某女的蹂躏下更加残破不堪的书非常残破不堪的砸在了墙上。“以后要谁再叫我看这种书，谁就会没有明天！！”说话的人身体一倒，埋头睡去也。她倒好，可苦了我这作者了，谁来告诉我剧情怎么继续撒！！？？果然是破书害人，我一瞪破书，“以后谁再敢写这种害死人不偿命的书，他就会，嘿嘿……”笑的好□□呵……