《意隐故事---明玉轮》夏意隐

97、扬威 这天早上，

　　这天早上，常斐然来到羊圈的时候发现Lieward早就已经恭候在此。

　　他心里苦笑了一声——也不知道怎么回事儿，他在这儿怎么这么有人气，一个个全都来找他，好在他对Lieward并不反感。

　　常斐然：“Hey, morning! What's up?（嘿，早，怎么样？）”

　　Lieward：“Good, good.（不错，不错。）”

　　虽然这么说，可是常斐然却觉得他看上去比两天前更憔悴了——就好像被X光透视了一样，露出了被埋在地下10年白骨才能呈现出的形状。

　　常斐然：“Really?（真的吗？）”

　　他露出了真诚的、担忧的表情。

　　Lieward见状痛苦地摇摇头，否定了先前的答案。

　　常斐然：“What's going on?（到底怎么了？）”

　　他拉着Lieward找了个地儿坐下。

　　Lieward只是一声长叹，说不出话。

　　Lieward：“I... I probably shouldn't talk about this to you.（我... 我其实不应该跟你说这件事。）”

　　常斐然：“Why? You can, you can talk everything to me. I won't talk to anyone, I swear.（为什么？你可以跟我谈，你可以跟我谈任何事情。我不会跟别人说的，我发誓。）”

　　Lieward：“No, it's not about that. I... I trust you.（不，不是因为这个。我... 我相信你。）”

　　常斐然：“Right? So you can talk to me about anything.（对吧？所以你可以和我谈任何事。）”

　　Lieward：“I... I can't...（我... 不行...）”

　　常斐然：“Yes, you can.（你可以。）”

　　Lieward：“No, I can't...（不，我不行...）”

　　常斐然：“Yes, you-（可以，你-）”

　　Lieward：“I can't get it up.（我立不起来。）”

　　常斐然：“Huh?（哈？）”

　　他一头雾水，不知道Lieward在说什么，直到顺着他的目光发现他正盯着自己的-

　　他赶紧调整了一下坐姿，又清了清喉咙。

　　常斐然：“You mean...（你是说...）”

　　Lieward：“Yeah...（对...）”

　　常斐然：“Uh... OK... It's maybe just because you're... you're nervous. That... that happens.（啊... 好的... 可能也许因为你...你太紧张了。这... 这常有发生。）”

　　Lieward：“It happened to you, too?（在你身上也发生过吗？）”

　　常斐然：“No, no, no, not personally, it’s just what I’ve heard...（不不不，从没有，我只是听说。）”

　　Lieward：“It had never happened to me before. Never. But with her, I just can't.（我以前从没有过这种情况。从没有过。但是和她，我就是不行。）”

　　常斐然：“I know, she's such a turnoff.（我知道，她真的很倒胃口。）”

　　他压低声音，说完又鬼祟地张望了张望。

　　Lieward：“I don't think-（我不觉得-）”

　　常斐然：“Is she here today?（-她今天在吗？）”

　　Lieward：“Yeah, but don't worry. She's with Moonlord.（在，但是别担心，她和月主在一起。）”

　　常斐然松了一口气。

　　常斐然：“I totally understand man, even though it had NEVER happened to me, I understand.（我完全能够理解，虽然这种事从没在我身上发生过，但是我理解。）”

　　Lieward：“I don't know what to do. She's so mad at me. She hit me with a stool this morning.（我不知道怎么做。她对我很生气。她今天早上用高脚凳打了我。）”

　　常斐然：“Yeah, I'm not surprised. She looks like someone who would do that.（我不吃惊。她看起来是能干这种事的人。）”

　　Lieward：“I guess I really disappointed her.（我想我真的让她很失望。）”

　　常斐然：“Don't blame yourself. She's such a nut job. Honestly, any guy would go limp with her.（这怪不上你。她就是个疯子。说真的，谁跟她在一起都立不起来。 ）”

　　Lieward：“You, too?（你也会吗？）”

　　常斐然：“Well, uh, I, I wouldn't say that. But it's definitely gonna be hard or, uh, challenging. I mean, you are scared of her, of course you can't. And she makes it a vicious cycle, the more scared you are, the more you can't, and the more you can't-（呃，我...我倒是不会这么假设。但是它肯定会很难，呃，或者说很有挑战性。我是说，你害怕她，所以你肯定不行啊。她又把这变成了一个恶性循环，你越害怕，你越不行，然后你越不-） ”

　　Lieward：“Yeah, I get your point... Lately, I've been thinking about Lia, even though I shouldn't.（好了，我懂你的意思... 最近我常常想起Lia，虽然我不应该。）”

　　常斐然：“Is she helpful?（想她有帮助？）”

　　常斐然露出不解的表情。

　　Lieward：“Oh no, not in that way. I mean, I, I just couldn't stop wondering, what life would be like with her.（哦不，不是那种。我的意思是，我总是忍不住想，如果是跟她在一起的话生活会是怎样。）”

　　常斐然：“I don't think that's very possible . But you can leave Sophia, that's what you can do.（这不太现实。但是你可以离开Sophia啊，这是你可以做的。 ）”

　　Lieward：“No, I can't. I owe it to her.（我不能，我欠她的。）”

　　常斐然：“What do you owe her? Even if you did in the whatever f*cking past life, she abused you, it's even now.（你欠她什么？哪怕就是你什么狗屁前世欠她的，她虐待你，你们扯平了。）”

　　Lieward：“I can't divorce her.（我不能和她离婚。）”

　　常斐然：“Why?（为什么不能？）”

　　Lieward：“It’s in the covenant. Did you even read it?（这在戒律里。你到底读没读过？）”

　　常斐然：“So you're gonna let that little book ruin your life? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Do you see what you look like these days? You are fading—fading away, literally.（所以你要让那本书回了你的生活吗？你照过镜子吗？你能看见你现在是什么样子吗？你在流逝，一点点流逝，真的。） ”

　　Lieward：“I know, it's been tough, but it's just Moonlord's tribulation——the prelude to the Moon Palace.（我知道，这真的很难。但这只是月主的考验，进入月宫的前奏。 ）”

　　常斐然：“Stop fooling yourself! Man up and leave, otherwise seriously, you are gonna die here.（别骗你自己了！有点儿骨气、离开，不然真的，你会死在这儿的。）”

　　Lieward：“No. This is the right thing to do, and I love her, I want to love her. If I endure the test and pay off my sins, everything will be great. (不，这是正确的事，而且我爱她，我想去爱她。如果我经受住了考验，偿还了罪孽，一切就会很美好。）”

　　常斐然：“You'll be dead.（那你早就死掉了。）”

　　Lieward：“Dead in a good place. If history has taught us anything——death is not the end. It will be happy ever after. Can you imagine a life like that? A life without burdens of sins and debts? We are light and pure and-（死在一个很美好的地方。如果历史教会了我们任何事的话——死亡不是终点。那将会是永远的美好。你能想象那样的生活吗？一种没有罪恶和亏欠的生活。我们都是光明的、纯净的-）”

　　常斐然：“You don't have the sins or debts in the first place, it was them who told you that you do!（你本来就没有罪恶和亏欠啊。是他们告诉你有！）”

　　他的情绪和语气都有些激动。

　　Lieward：“Sorry I bothered you.（对不起给你添麻烦了。）”

　　常斐然：“No, I just... I just don't want you to suffer anymore.（不是，我就是、我就是不想你再受苦了。）”

　　Lieward：“Suffering is a good thing-（受苦是件好事-）”

　　常斐然深吸了一口气，呼出时吹得上下两瓣嘴唇扇动直响。他没有办法了，只能以如此无奈的方式打断Lieward的呓语。